Trying times

These last few months, we have been faced with some "trying times." I am going to use this space as a journal, so what I write will be personal, will be what I am feeling, and what is my reality. I know probably 2 people may read this, and I am okay with that, I just needed an outlet and maybe those two people that may come across this may offer some prayers. Very few people know this, but Jason and I have been trying to get pregnant since the middle of January. We were still just into being married 6 months, I was still in school full time and working crazy hours. I was on the pill for about seven years so I didn't think it would happen right away, and we weren't expecting it to. We weren't timing anything but we weren't "not" trying. So months went by and it was still a little disappointing because nothing was "happening," every 4 weeks I would get my little reminder that I wasn't expecting yet, but each month it got a little bit more alarming, like something just wasn't right. So 7 months of trying and still nothing, I go in for my yearly doctor appointment. My doctor seems alarmed that nothing has happened, says birth control shouldn't cause this kind of problem and recommends we do some further testing. His nurse suggests I do ovulation predictor kits to see if I am ovulating earlier or later than what is "normal," they recommened Jason go in for testing and that I go in for an x-ray testing to see if my tubes are blocked. Only problem is, these are not covered by insurance. These two tests would be about $1,000. Well, considering I just got a full time job and we live off of Jason's income, I don't feel comfortable spending that extra money RIGHT now. If we still aren't pregnant by the beginning of November we will go in for further testing. I know we are still young, we could still be considered newlyweds, I just got a full time job and it may be better to just wait for kids, I know these things, but I long for a baby. From the time I was probably 5 years old, I could not wait to become a mom, to carry a baby for 9 months, to create something so special with my husband. Each month it breaks my heart a little more to think that something just isn't right and I may not be able to do these things I have wanted my whole life. It breaks my heart for Jason that I may not be able to give him a child, something that every woman is supposed to be able to do. In my line of work I see people who are so unfit to be parents, heck you can see that with a trip to Wal-Mart, and it just hurts. I work with people who are drug addicts, alcoholics, criminals, neglect their children, abuse their children, who are just BAD people and I can't help but wonder "why us?" We have so much to offer a child, we would be wonderful parents and give our child every thing that we could, we have so much love to give. How can "these" people get pregnant so easily?? It just seems so unfair. So that's where we are, just waiting each month and praying, hoping, BEGGING for something to happen naturally.

Busy, busy!

Ok, I lied...well not really lied because I didn't promise I would update every week but I said I would try! But I have just been so busy, I have hardly been able to sit down.

School is starting to get busy, just keep reminding myself that this is my last real semester!! Now I am trying to decide whether or not to go to grad school, it is such a huge decision! Since I will have my undergrad degree in the same thing I would be going to grad school for I can do it through advanced standing, which means I can get it done in three semesters (summer-spring) and be done, which doesn't seem like a lot of time at all! But it will cost about $28,000!!!! And I won't be able to work at all during this time because I will be completing a series of internships. I do have six years to decide if I want to go back or not and still be able to be accepted in Advanced Standing though, and some agencies will actually pay a good portion of your way through grad school if you get hired on with just a bachelor's degree...So many decisions... this is something we will definitely be praying about!!

Other than school and internship, nothing has really been going on! The back patio finally got finished and we (as in Jason) still needs to start on the fence, of course now it has gotten colder so I have a feeling that will probably not be completed until spring! It will get done eventually though :)

I'm back!!

Ok so much has happened since the last time I blogged....
We bought a house

(this is before we moved in, so its a little dated)

We got married...

And now I am completing my final semester at the U of A, starting my internship and still spoiling Sophie Bear

I am making it a point to start blogging more often! I really hope to at least blog once a week, this is such an exciting time in our lives and is just flying by so I hope to be able to keep this as a journal of our lives before kids!

WOW!

It reallly has been forever!! Well where to start?! We have made several offers on several houses, which has all fallen thru. We had been waiting on a house since the end of November and the bank had never gotten back to us..so what do we do? We start looking again! We found a beautiful BRAND NEW house that we absolutely fell in love with, this was definately the one! We just made an offer on it tonight, and should have an answer within a few days, which is the best part!! It is not a foreclosure or short sale so that takes A TON of stress off of the situation! It is a little more than what we were hoping to spend but we believe that it is the right house for us and will be worth it because it will be brand new :)

Wedding plans are coming along great! Have got cake picked out, bridesmaid dresses ordered, honeymoon booked, invitations ordered, save the dates ready to be mailed, caterer book...things are coming together :)

Well hopefully I'll be back in a few days to share some good news! Keep us in your prayers!!

Holidays and House Hunting

Haven't posted in a while due to this little thing called SCHOOL, that had taken over my life this past month! Now that it is over with until mid-January, I can FINALLY have my life back :)

For Thanksgiving, Jason and I had lunch with my side of the family and then went to Marshall for his family dinner. We stayed the whole weekend there, and he actually took me hunting! That was quite and experience! It was so cold and windy but I didn't complain once, which I think really surprised him, especially since I hate the cold. We didn't get anything but we did have fun.

For Christmas this year we are having a Christmas Eve brunch with his parents and then going to Marshall for the night and coming home Christmas day to spend the afternoon/ evening with my parents. It will be so different this year because I have never not woken up at home on Christmas morning with my parents.

And now to the exciting part, house hunting!! Well we have decided that it would be much smarter to spend money on a house rather than putting it all towards rent each and every month. We found a house that we thought was "the one" we made an offer and the next day the bank accepted another offer. So we were heartbroken but decided to keep looking. Well it didn't take long before we found a house that we fell in love with. It is beautiful, everything I have ever wanted in a house! So we put in an offer and are now just waiting. It is a short sale with an out of state bank, meaning it will take them 30-45 days to either accept the offer or not. In the mean time they can still take offers from other people. It has already been a couple weeks and they have until the beginning of January to get back with us so we are still praying and keeping our fingers crossed. We know we will find a house someday if this isn't it, but I just love it and really hope that this is the one.

I hope you all have a wonderful and safe Christmas!!

November already?!!

Wow, it is already November!! I love this time of year, the trees look so beautiful around here! Well I finally got to meet with my WONDERFUL wedding planner. I am so excited to work with her for the next 8 months and 28 days, not that I'm counting or anything :) She is super sweet and willing to work so hard for our day to be perfect! Having her has already taken stress off of me, we still have so much to do though!

Speaking of wedding, we got our engagement pictures done a few weeks ago and today I was able to view them. I could not be happier with them!! I was so scared that none of them were going to turn out and that I wouldn't like any of them, well wow I was WRONG! They turned out soooo great! It is going to be SOOO hard for us to choose the one's we love the most!

This semester is SLOWLY coming to an end. It has definately been one of the hardest semesters thus far, I keep telling myself only three more semesters to go after this one! I just have to make it a couple more weeks!

Well hope all is well for everyone!

Still here!

Wow, it is fall y'all! I love it, even though it still feels like summer for now, I won't complain! I am so excited for this next year in our life and love how we are starting a new season! This weekend is a HUGE weekend around here, the Razorback game of course AND the bridal fair!! I CAN NOT WAIT!! We got tickets to the Arkansas game, which was a miracle and all thanks goes to Jason's wonderful dad. And then Sunday my mom and maid of honor are going to the bridal fair. It will be fun to see everything they have, this will be my first to go to since I have been engaged, I went to one last year but was a model in it so it was a little different. I'm excited to see what all they have, even though we've already got a photographer, dress, location and overall "feel" of the wedding and what we want it will be great to get lots of new, fresh ideas! I am also excited because I will be meeting with a wedding cordinator, who is an old friend from junior high, in the next couple of weeks and I am so ready to dicuss more wedding!!

I'm currently not feeling so great, think I am getting a cold, so I hope I get better and start feeling 100% by the Hog game!!

Have a wonderful rest of the week and weekend!